| ok guys this is called a story | |
|
|
Author | Message |
---|
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:43 am | |
| heres something i wrote for this other forum that im posting here for no for seeable reason part 1: the beggining chapter1, part 1 :the meeting
the team of five commandos creeped in silent as shadows. the dark derelict mansion, with its overgrown gardens and boarded up window. shaterred glass covered the floor. the squad slowly climbed the staircase covering each others advances. they slowly walked into a small drawing room, painted red very badly.mkaar's sense's told him it was a trap but all he did was issue a command to prep weapons. he heard a creak. "spread out men!!" he shouted as the door was ripped apart. the slow moving rotten undead shuffled across the room. mkaar tryed the other door but it was replaced by a steel grill."fire!!" he shouted.his men respond with tight burst aimed at the undeads weak points. two fell, slowly to the ground. one man cornered watched in terror as the undead closed in, riping his head from his shoulders, then blood flowed down his body like a fountain. three more commandos fell, the last killing himself in fear. mkaar prayed. prayed for the guardian angel he didnt have. or did he? a man enterd the room slashing two undead will running towards the last two. he stabbed one, drew his smg and unloaded a clip into the last one. his blade was wierd, a handle with two parralel blades then he turned to mkaar. but he didnt notice. this was a green drawing room according to his map.... the red was blood. snapping out of it, he turned and face the stranger."what is your name" he asked. "it dousnt matter, i dont need a name" the guy replied sneering. he shook mkaars hand."well dont just stand there, there are more people in here, still alive" "well lets go then" mkaar said slamming a fresh clip into his assualt rifle as they charged off further into the building...... _________________
chapter 1 part 2....
winter, a sniper checked his thermal sights. he could see two orange figures. he had to exterminate the infected. but these two weren't undead. no, they must be the foolish team of commandos. yet only one had the commando base refrence. a survivor? who knew. either way they had to be killed. you see there where two sections for dealing with undead. the commandos whose great succes had been cleansing old london whilst rescuing thousands., while the snipers succes was culling the zombies in new zealand. he hated commandos. they where payed extra if the killed one, so intense was the rivalry.he scanned around. opening his com link he said "this is commando squad beta in sector a5 subsector t4. we have survivors. all other survivors, commandos or freelance fighters converge on point 9 for evac." "we read you, one commando and a free lance." so, the other one was a freelances. probaly the one with the smg and wierd blades. he sat down and prepared for along wait. he scanned his scopes again. no wait what was that? impossible.... _________________________ chapter 2 part 1
peter slowly opened his eyes. he saw the bodys of fallen comrades all around him.And bodys of undead.peter stood up, unawear of the miracle that had just taken place. searching around he found his combat shot gun and ran off through the open door. one undead shambled towards him. peter fired shredding it.dieseased blood poured from the wound as peter walked on. dead end. he quicly searched for a exit. ventilation shaft? it was the only way that he was likly to reach the outside, or the inside. pushing a cabinet against the wall he climbed up into the ventilator shaft.his heart pounded as he heard a creak. they where coming. he closed the ventilation shaft and crawled on, unawear of the hell that waited for him. | |
|
| |
Steamu Admin
Number of posts : 93 Age : 34 Location : Norway Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:46 am | |
| Rly nice, maybe do this in the stories forum part ! , will move it now. Nice Story | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:07 am | |
| thanx...... yh i dint notice the story part maybe i should continue it | |
|
| |
Steamu Admin
Number of posts : 93 Age : 34 Location : Norway Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:08 am | |
| Yes you should , NP btw | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:09 am | |
| il try to but dont expect it soon.... this storys slower than the other one i did | |
|
| |
Steamu Admin
Number of posts : 93 Age : 34 Location : Norway Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:11 am | |
| Well consentrait on praticing on WR specially on Ravello , but enough of that write your gd story | |
|
| |
Steamu Admin
Number of posts : 93 Age : 34 Location : Norway Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:14 pm | |
| Have splitted som postes look at the news forum there you will fin the box we will discuss this in | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:19 pm | |
| ok steamu this should clear things up 1. here our some genres/styles of film horror:affraid: comedy action adventure romance these are kinda basic but we can mix'em 2.what kinda scenes we want fire fight airplane chase scenes love scenes close quater fights warzones funny scenes scary scenes these dont have to be them. just suggest some. | |
|
| |
Steamu Admin
Number of posts : 93 Age : 34 Location : Norway Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:22 pm | |
| Ok, i will make a try, lets take a try on filming on friday, i must practice a bit with this, havent done it since i was 13 xD | |
|
| |
jetstrike Admin
Number of posts : 92 Age : 30 Location : in front of my pc monitor >. Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:24 pm | |
| hmm okay we will be doing casting as well | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:27 pm | |
| hmmmmmmmmm there are 6 of us including (yudy) who will/are on these forums so we need to decide on the story before places can be decided We have Topic about this, dont pay attention to that topic!
Thanks -Admin Steamusheesh havin loads of topics is complicated dammit..... and i know what im talking about
Last edited by jetknife on Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:00 am; edited 3 times in total | |
|
| |
jetstrike Admin
Number of posts : 92 Age : 30 Location : in front of my pc monitor >. Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:13 am | |
| hmm it appears you got eidited | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:28 pm | |
| part 1: the beggining chapter1, part 1 :the meeting
the team of five commandos creeped in silent as shadows. the dark derelict mansion, with its overgrown gardens and boarded up window. shaterred glass covered the floor. the squad slowly climbed the staircase covering each others advances. they slowly walked into a small drawing room, painted red very badly.mkaar's sense's told him it was a trap but all he did was issue a command to prep weapons. he heard a creak. "spread out men!!" he shouted as the door was ripped apart. the slow moving rotten undead shuffled across the room. mkaar tryed the other door but it was replaced by a steel grill."fire!!" he shouted.his men respond with tight burst aimed at the undeads weak points. two fell, slowly to the ground. one man cornered watched in terror as the undead closed in, riping his head from his shoulders, then blood flowed down his body like a fountain. three more commandos fell, the last killing himself in fear. mkaar prayed. prayed for the guardian angel he didnt have. or did he? a man enterd the room slashing two undead will running towards the last two. he stabbed one, drew his smg and unloaded a clip into the last one. his blade was wierd, a handle with two parralel blades then he turned to mkaar. but he didnt notice. this was a green drawing room according to his map.... the red was blood. snapping out of it, he turned and face the stranger."what is your name" he asked. "it dousnt matter, i dont need a name" the guy replied sneering. he shook mkaars hand."well dont just stand there, there are more people in here, still alive" "well lets go then" mkaar said slamming a fresh clip into his assualt rifle as they charged off further into the building...... _________________
chapter 1 part 2....
winter, a sniper checked his thermal sights. he could see two orange figures. he had to exterminate the infected. but these two weren't undead. no, they must be the foolish team of commandos. yet only one had the commando base refrence. a survivor? who knew. either way they had to be killed. you see there where two sections for dealing with undead. the commandos whose great succes had been cleansing old london whilst rescuing thousands., while the snipers succes was culling the zombies in new zealand. he hated commandos. they where payed extra if the killed one, so intense was the rivalry.he scanned around. opening his com link he said "this is commando squad beta in sector a5 subsector t4. we have survivors. all other survivors, commandos or freelance fighters converge on point 9 for evac." "we read you, one commando and a free lance." so, the other one was a freelances. probaly the one with the smg and wierd blades. he sat down and prepared for along wait. he scanned his scopes again. no wait what was that? impossible.... _________________________ chapter 2 part 1
peter slowly opened his eyes. he saw the bodys of fallen comrades all around him.And bodys of undead.peter stood up, unawear of the miracle that had just taken place. searching around he found his combat shot gun and ran off through the open door. one undead shambled towards him. peter fired shredding it.dieseased blood poured from the wound as peter walked on. dead end. he quicly searched for a exit. ventilation shaft? it was the only way that he was likly to reach the outside, or the inside. pushing a cabinet against the wall he climbed up into the ventilator shaft.his heart pounded as he heard a creak. they where coming. he closed the ventilation shaft and crawled on, unawear of the hell that waited for him. __________________________ chapter 2 part 2 mkaar and the mysteroisous man ran down the dreary blood stained corridors. if they missed the pick up they would almost certainly never make it back. mkaar looked at the man as they ran togehther down a corridor towards the stairs. he was a slende, yet incredebely strong and adgile, a wierd combination."stop" he whispered. drawing are guns we looked over the edge. nothingness stared back at us. quickly turning we saw them. all shuffling towards us with a kind of urgency. We opened fire for what little good it would do them. a few fell, nearly disetigrated by the close range fire. "draw your knife" he shouted. mkaar noticed this, and realised this was no amteur he was a pure preofessional.a amteur would have just continued to fire. he hacked and slashed his way through them as mkaar tryed his best with his much shorter knife. it was hopeless. in a couple of minutes it would be over. Then for a second time this day he was saved. a vent shaft popped open and a hail of shot gun pellets tore through the undeads ranks.within moments the tide had turned as mkaar finally breathed a sigh of relief. the tall man wore the same armour as him. he was blood still gushed from new wounds and slowly trickled out of old ones."you are very lucky" commented the mysterouy man."maybe its fate" surgested the stranger."peter?" mkaar reconised the man instantly. the fell into each others arms as old friends. how did you get here? i heard your team was wiped out, all of it?" mkaar queried. "i know" said peter "but thats all i can remeber before the air drop here." he remarked. "so then how did you get here" mkaar asked. "well....." peter began..... | |
|
| |
jeroxy Admin
Number of posts : 45 Age : 30 Location : Behind you with a dagger! Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:32 am | |
| wow sweet, i like the fact that I am peter and that I GET A SHOTGUN! WHOOP I JUST LIKE... BAM, BAM, BAM, DIE! | |
|
| |
jetstrike Admin
Number of posts : 92 Age : 30 Location : in front of my pc monitor >. Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Sun Aug 31, 2008 9:10 am | |
| you havent seen what my character has (he said he will write it in soon)... | |
|
| |
jeroxy Admin
Number of posts : 45 Age : 30 Location : Behind you with a dagger! Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:22 pm | |
| maby i havent, but i got a shotgun! WHOO!!! | |
|
| |
jetstrike Admin
Number of posts : 92 Age : 30 Location : in front of my pc monitor >. Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:56 am | |
| I HAVE A ANTIGRAV PACK WHOOO | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:31 am | |
| part 1: the beggining chapter1, part 1 :the meeting the team of five commandos creeped in silent as shadows. the dark derelict mansion, with its overgrown gardens and boarded up window. shaterred glass covered the floor. the squad slowly climbed the staircase covering each others advances. they slowly walked into a small drawing room, painted red very badly.Davids's sense's told him it was a trap but all he did was issue a command to prep weapons. he heard a creak. "spread out men!!" he shouted as the door was ripped apart. the slow moving rotten undead shuffled across the room. mkaar tryed the other door but it was replaced by a steel grill."fire!!" he shouted.his men respond with tight burst aimed at the undeads weak points. two fell, slowly to the ground. one man cornered watched in terror as the undead closed in, riping his head from his shoulders, then blood flowed down his body like a fountain. three more commandos fell, the last killing himself in fear. mkaar prayed. prayed for the guardian angel he didnt have. or did he? a man enterd the room slashing two undead will running towards the last two. he stabbed one, drew his smg and unloaded a clip into the last one. his blade was wierd, a handle with two parralel blades then he turned to mkaar. but he didnt notice. this was a green drawing room according to his map.... the red was blood. snapping out of it, he turned and face the stranger."what is your name" he asked. "it dousnt matter, i dont need a name" the guy replied sneering. he shook mkaars hand."well dont just stand there, there are more people in here, still alive" "well lets go then" mkaar said slamming a fresh clip into his assualt rifle as they charged off further into the building...... _________________ chapter 1 part 2.... winter, a sniper checked his thermal sights. he could see two orange figures. he had to exterminate the infected. but these two weren't undead. no, they must be the foolish team of commandos. yet only one had the commando base refrence. a survivor? who knew. either way they had to be killed. you see there where two sections for dealing with undead. the commandos whose great succes had been cleansing old london whilst rescuing thousands., while the snipers succes was culling the zombies in new zealand. he hated commandos. they where payed extra if the killed one, so intense was the rivalry.he scanned around. opening his com link he said "this is commando squad beta in sector a5 subsector t4. we have survivors. all other survivors, commandos or freelance fighters converge on point 9 for evac." "we read you, one commando and a free lance." so, the other one was a freelances. probaly the one with the smg and wierd blades. he sat down and prepared for along wait. he scanned his scopes again. no wait what was that? impossible.... _________________________ chapter 2 part 1 peter slowly opened his eyes. he saw the bodys of fallen comrades all around him.And bodys of undead.peter stood up, unawear of the miracle that had just taken place. searching around he found his combat shot gun and ran off through the open door. one undead shambled towards him. peter fired shredding it.dieseased blood poured from the wound as peter walked on. dead end. he quicly searched for a exit. ventilation shaft? it was the only way that he was likly to reach the outside, or the inside. pushing a cabinet against the wall he climbed up into the ventilator shaft.his heart pounded as he heard a creak. they where coming. he closed the ventilation shaft and crawled on, unawear of the hell that waited for him. __________________________ chapter 2 part 2 David and the mysteroisous man ran down the dreary blood stained corridors. if they missed the pick up they would almost certainly never make it back. David looked at the man as they ran togehther down a corridor towards the stairs. he was a slender, yet incredebely strong and adgile, a wierd combination."stop" he whispered. they drew there guns as they peered over the edge. nothingness stared back at us. they quickly turned as they saw them. all shuffling towards them with a kind of urgency. they opened fire for what little good it would do them. a few fell, nearly disetigrated by the close range fire. "draw your knife" he shouted. david noticed this, and realised this was no amateur, he was a pure preofessional.a amteur would have just continued to fire. he hacked and slashed his way through them as david tryed his best with his much shorter knife. it was hopeless. in a couple of minutes it would be over. Then for a second time this day he was saved. a vent shaft popped open and a hail of shot gun pellets tore through the undeads ranks.within moments the tide had turned as mkaar finally breathed a sigh of relief. the tall man wore the same armour as him. he was blood still gushed from new wounds and slowly trickled out of old ones."you are very lucky" commented the mysterouy man."maybe its fate" surgested the stranger."peter?" mkaar reconised the man instantly. the fell into each others arms as old friends. how did you get here? i heard your team was wiped out, all of it?" mkaar queried. "i know" said peter "but thats all i can remeber before the air drop here." he remarked. "so then how did you get here" mkaar asked. "well....." peter began..... _______________________________________________ chapter 3 "well" said peter, "it started by me just waking up and as i awoke i noticed my team was dead all a round me. the bodys of the enemy where there also, horrificaly mutated.picking up my combat shotgun i ran towards what i thought could be the exit. i opened it only to find more undead zeroing in on the disturbance and smell.i quickly blasted them, ending there misarable existence it was great revenge for my dead comrades.but more came, to many for even me to fight alone. so i scanned the room for a meathod of escape that they couldnt chase me through. i sighted an air vent that looked like it was in good condition and entered. at the time i had no idea that it would be so hellish. it started out light and even spacious, but soon it became dark and cramped. fear spread over me, paranoia. i was on edge. i turned a corner and one appeared, lacking legs. in the fear and panic i blasted a everthing at him, causing a gaping hole to appear near him.his face remianded, and i regonised him as a old friend i worked for. realising these tunnels where as safe as russian rollete with fully loaded pistol i went through the hole i made. thats where i saw them.the room they where in was painted with blood and decorated with fresh corpses.they looked like daemons. they spotted me immeiatly. i was dragged to a room.the room had a pit in the center. in it where thousands of undead, there eyes all focused on me. at the same time another was dragged in. he was powerfully built. he like me was given a sword. we where thrown into the pit. yet he didnt fall. he hovered. he grabbed me and pulled me back. then the daemons stared at us, annoyed that there game had been stopped. they drew what appeared to be a battle axe and a sword. for a first time i noticed that on there back grew horns that covered round to protect there chest.i focused on defense, blocking my ones sword attacks, unlike my companion who acted like dieing was the last thing on his mind as he went full attack slashing at the daemons stomach making it bend double in, apart from anything else suprise. it also dropped its axe allowing him to use the horns to swing on to the daemons neck.he slashed at it jumped off behind him and stabbed it in the back killing it. he then sliced mine from behind who was oblivious till the last moment. before i could evn ask his name however he ran off. i went off into the vents which where ligher agian and here i am." he finished."we have to moveout" david said" to the landing zone. maybe we'll meet up with the guy on the way there. he may have picked up the signal." "then what are you waiting for" taunted the mysterouis man"lets get moving before more arrive." _____________________________________________ ok peeps this is copyright to me so ask me to the best of your knowledge so please ask permission before you nick it. | |
|
| |
jetstrike Admin
Number of posts : 92 Age : 30 Location : in front of my pc monitor >. Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:53 pm | |
| GREAT.my only point is the grammar isnt great but otherwise its great reading.(if you want to know where he gotthe idea for grabbingon to horns type space marine lord sync kill bloodthirster or something like that. | |
|
| |
jeroxy Admin
Number of posts : 45 Age : 30 Location : Behind you with a dagger! Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:00 am | |
| sweet! weirdness but NICE! i get cooelr and cooler each time | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:34 am | |
| thanks guy your support means something to me( i think) butcan you give constructive criticism other than grammar | |
|
| |
jetstrike Admin
Number of posts : 92 Age : 30 Location : in front of my pc monitor >. Registration date : 2008-08-24
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:22 am | |
| lawl i guess anyway this forum isnt posted on much no more. | |
|
| |
jetknife
Number of posts : 55 Age : 30 Location : HIDDEN!!! Registration date : 2008-08-25
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:51 am | |
| French course work la semaine dernier etais désastreux!est commencer lundi. Dans la matin, mon chat gris l'égratiner ma tête. ensuite, la voiture ne demarrer plus, ensuite ce prendre le feu! Quel horruer!je arrive en retard l'école. Mon prof tres colère! Après collège, je retourner a la maison. Je regardé le télé a quatre avant ensuite mon devoirs a duex huere, je sommeil! Ensuite dan mardi, je oublier mon devoir. Le raté la bus et la bus prochain en retard et je retard en école de noveau!quel voyage désastreux! mon prof exploser a la furuer! La reste du la journée etais bien.mecredi, je viste mon amis et mon maison prendre feu! La nuit etais tres froid! Juedi etais, mon famille leve dans la couvert. J'ai viste l'école avant départe aller searche la noveau maison! On nourii la petit appartement dans le lottisment. Le chat aller la balcon et devissage sautee mort. Ma mere pleure par journees. Mon pere alle la supermarche et il etais agresser. Vendredi ,ce calme compte. Samedi, je viste mon grandpa et ma grandmere. Ensuite, j'ai viste mon amis. Cette fois mon velo etais voler. Je retuorner mon appartement et ce voler mon tele! Dimanche, ons aller le eglias et aller mon chats funebre. On tout dire etias finalment au revior. La semaine desastre! | |
|
| |
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: ok guys this is called a story | |
| |
|
| |
| ok guys this is called a story | |
|